Every Hurt
by amber eyed wolf
Summary: On that fateful night in the Department of Secrets, Harry chose to go with Voldemort, and saved Sirius' life, but that wasn't the only life he saved. Harry find himself dependent on Tom, for everthing, but one name lurks in the back of his mind, Draco.
1. Default Chapter

            "I love you,"

            "No I love you more,"

            "Oh shut up, Tom, I love you more." The raven haired boy said, snuggling his face into Tom's sweet smelling Raven locks. "You know I do."

            "Harry, hush." Said Tom, his pale arm snaked around to wrap Harry closer to him.

            "Tom I love-" Harry was interupted when his lover kissed him passionately. Harry sank back into the covers, with Tom. _I guess it's not time to wake up, yet. _

            A few hours later Harry was awoken by, "Harry, my love wake up." Tom said, tossing the covers of him.

            "No Tom! I wannna sleep…" Groaned Harry burrowing into the pillows. Tom lunged onto the bed. He face inches away from Harry's.

            "How about pancakes for breakfast, with chocolate chips?" offered Tom. Harry looked at him. _Damn his puppy dog face!_

            "Alright," Harry snapped. "But just cause I can't resist that face." The sixteen year old rolled out of bed. It was his birthday today. He was so happy. He loved being with Tom, or Voldemort. Now only a small part of his mind screamed at him, calling him a coward, telling him he was using Tom, that he didn't love him. Harry snapped back to reality when Tom offered him a burgundy silk robe. The raven haired boy shrugged into the robe, giving Tom a kiss. Arm in Arm they made their way to the Kitchen.

12 Grimmuald place, Sirius Blacks bed room.

            "Sirius I miss Harry." Remus whispered into Sirius' large hands, which encircled his slender chest..

            "He made a sacrifice for us." Sirius said softly. He hugged the werewolf closer to himself. "He's happy now."

            "What if he's not? What if Voldemort totures him, and starves him and rapes him." Said Remus, his voice cracked.

            "We both saw that look in his eyes. I look at you like that." Sirius whispered. The werewolf tossed in his arms so he was facing Sirius. He kissed Sirius' lips and rested his head against Sirius' neck.

            "The order is dying."

            "I know," said Sirius, his voice strained.

            "I hate them. Not Tonks, or the weaslys. No I hate the order itself. It's killed so many for what? We could has just given them Harry and lived happily ever after. Dumbledore would have let you die. He let them torture you. 'A casualty of war' he would have said. 'Sirius Black died nobly'. You would have died, if Harry hadn't given himself to Voldemort."

            "I hate myself for it." Sirius hissed. "If I had been stronger Harry wouldn't be with him now. He'd be here with us, laughing and smiling."

            Remus started to cry. Sirius hugged him closer, ignoring the fact he was crying also.

            In Draco's bedroom the blond haired boy sat crying. He cried himself to sleep every night now. His father disowned him. Draco wanted it so badly, but the reality stung horribly. Sirius and Remus had taken him in.

            "Harry, I'm so sorry." He sobbed. "jesus Christ I could've saved you, saved Sirius and Remus. I knew about the attack, I didn't think you would actually go! I didn't think Sirius would come. I-I-I was to scared, to proud to admit that I knew. To proud to help. I was a Malfoy, above all those mud blood lovers. Your pathetic Draco. Everyone wishes they could kill you."

            Draco lay down in bed and cried more. "Weak bastard! Sitting here wallowing in your self pity. Harry hates you, everyone does."

            "That's not true Draco."

            Draco looked toward the door and saw Hermonie standing in the door way. She was dressed in white pajamas, the top was a slinky cami, the bottoms had a rose pattern.

            "How dare you think that' true!" She ran over to the bed and curled into his arms, sobbing. "I'm glad your alive. Harry is to. That's why he went with him. He gave himself for us. And we aren't going to spend our damn life sobbing!"

            "Tonight's his birthday." Whispered Draco. "I think I love him."

            "He loves you to Draco."

            "No he doesn't."

            "He told me Draco."

            "Why not Ron?"

            "I don't know. His mom wanted him to stay away from Harry, I think she's gone insane."

            "I want Harry," Draco sobbed. "I want him."

            "He's going to come back, and he's going to realize that he didn't love Tom. When he does we'll be strong for him."

            Draco sobbed.

            Harry lay in bed. Alone. Tom was at a death eater meeting. Harry clutched the silk pillow. His long black curls spilled behind him. Tom liked his hair long. He liked the messy curls. Tom had become a drug to Harry. He needed Tom. He was his life.

            He cried, slowly at first, but he couldn't stop the sobs. _You betrayed them. Left them to their death. No! No! I came because they would have killed Sirius. Now Tom isn't going to hurt anyone else. We're going to go live in __Tahiti__, together. I'll never see them again, Sirius and Remus, Hermonie, Draco, Even Blaise damn it! It's better that way. They don't want to see me ever. I betrayed them, betrayed the entire world. The boy who lived is a failure._

            He sobbed. _Draco…Draco…I think I love you Draco. _"I love you, I miss you and I'm sorry. I'll miss you forever."


	2. screaming

            Harry cried himself to sleep. His dreams were filled of faces, Sirius', Remus', and Draco's. When Tom snuggled up behind him, Harry didn't notice. Tom planted a little kiss on Harry's cheek. Harry smiled and wiggled back against Tom.

            "Harry, come on, I have a present for you." Whispered Tom. Harry's bright green eyes opened. He rolled over and faced Tom.

            _Jesus he has beautiful eyes. _Tom thought. "Please come, you'll like it."

            Harry got out of bed and slid into a pair of jeans and an open dark green button down shirt. Tom Grinned. "I always liked you in green." He dressed in the same thing, but with a dark red shirt. Tom guestured for Harry to follow him. Harry did.

            They came into a very dark hall way, gruesome pictures decorated the walls. Harry sighed. _After months I'm still scared of those photos. _Tom led him through a large doorway and into a huge stone chamber. They walked through the dank chamber and to another door. Tom flung it open and bright yellow sunlight flooded the chamber.

            "Oh Lord Tom!" Harry shouted. He jumped into the sunlight and spun around insanely. "Jesus!" cried Harry as he noticed a broom. A firebolt. In moments Harry was flying around the huge court yard, Tom was lounging on the stone wall, starring up at him laughing. Harry left the broom on the grass, like a child, with his toy. The raven haired boy dashed over to Tom and hugged him tightly. "Oh, Tom, it's wonderful!"

            "I'm glad you like it, love," said Tom, kissing his lover on the lips. Harry smiled. _ The grief only goes away when I'm with you. _Harry thought whimsically. Together they returned into the dankness of Tom's mansion. _Good bye, sunshine. _Thought the boy, as he turned to look behind him. The only sun was in a high window. Down through the darkness it glittered. Harry's eyes widened. _It's like Dumbledore  once told me. _

            _"You Harry, are a glittering beacon of hope, shining through! Despite the darkness in your past, you still shine!" _

            "Harry? What is it?" asked Tom.

            "Nothing," Said Harry, planting a quick kiss on Tom's arm. _A beacon of light? Yeah right, I'm the one fucking Voldemort, I'm the blackest being on the planet, next to him. Litterely. _ 

12 Grimmuald place.

            Draco sat in the third floor sitting room, watching every horror video he could rent on the plasma TV Harry and Hermonie  insist they buy. _Now I'll never sleep again, I won't have to dream about him. _Thought the blonde.

            "Draco what are you doing?" He turned and saw Lupin standing the door way, his arms crossed.

            "Watching a movie."

            "Why are you watching horror movies?"

            "So I don't have to sleep, so I don't have to dream."

            Remus' amber eyes shone with tears. "None of us want to dream anymore Draco, so we'll all watch together."

            "No." said Draco. No passion in his voice, it was empty.

            "Shut up Draco," Hermonie snapped. She sat down next to him. "Look we're in this together whether you like it or not."

            "I've got food!" Sirius joked half heartedly. Draco smiled. Together they piled onto the couch and watched the current video, the ring. All of them snacked on something. Suddenly there was a loud knock on the door. Hermonie screamed, Remus clutched Sirius, who clutched the werewolf in return. Draco flinched.

            "Who wants to die first?" asked Remus, he choked on his words.

            "Who's oldest?" Hermonie asked.

            "Remus!" Said Sirius. The werewolf moaned, and then shot the girl a glare.

            "You did that on purpose! Selfish girl-child!" Hermonie gave him a cheser cat grin. "Sirius we're going to die together."

            "Must we? I'm sure Draco wants me to live?" the ex-convict asked meekly.  The blonde grinned and waved. Remus dragged a protesting Sirius out of the room. Hermonie and Draco laughed, and then heard Remus' scream. Hermonie grabbed Draco and dashed out the door to find him. "TIME TO DIE!"

            Hermonie and Draco screamed. Out of the shadows popped Remus grinning and waving his hands like paws. "Grr! I'm gonna getchu!" Sirius cackled evily in the background.

            "You minapulative bastards!" Draco shrieked slapping Remus on the arm. The werewolf only grinned bigger. Draco finally sighed in defeat. "The door."

            Remus slowly crept to the door, Sirius clung to his arm, Draco clung to Remus' other arm, and Hermonie clung to Draco. Remus opened the door, everybody screamed. Standing in the pouring rain, was Blaise.

            "Am I that scary?"

            Nobody moved. Draco reached out and poked Blaise's arm. "He's real!" They all ran to embrace Blaise. They dragged the very confused boy into the house and shoved him on the nearest sofa. "Do you need something to drink?" Draco asked from the kitchen.

            "Hot chocolate please!"

            "Blaise what are you doing here?" Hermonie asked, wrapping a blanket around his shoulders.

            "Death eaters, they attacked the house. My parents, I think they killed my parents, and they took my little sister." Said Blaise. A dead hush fell over the room. Hermonie thought she would throw up.  "What's wrong? It happens all the time doesn't it?!" Blaise once calm voice raised to a panicked scream. "Doesn't it!"

            "Harry, went with him. Harry gave himself to Voldemort. This shouldn't be happening, Harry wouldn't let him." Whispered Sirius, who clutched hugged the shaken werewolf, curled up in the arm chair.

            "What are you talking about?!" asked Blaise pankickedly. "Harry, where is he?!"

            "He went with Voldemort, to save Sirius' life." Remus explained. "Harry's Voldemorts fuck partner now."

            Nobody said a word, nobody moved. The werewolf had been clear enough. Blaise sat perfectly still, as thought tramatized by Remus' words.

            "That night in the department of mysteries, I fell behind the veil. I thought I was dead, and I felt something tugging me back. I don't know how it happened. I fell unconscious." Said Sirius.

            Remus picked up the tale, "Sirius flew back through the veil, I nearly had a heart attack. He flew right into Voldemort's open arms. Sirius was changed, he was pale, but he seemed years younger, he was dead for a moment. But Voldemort brought his body back, and his soul along with it. Sirius' moments in death had eraised the years Azkaban stole from him. My beautiful Sirius lay in Voldemorts open arms, like a virgin sacrifice, cept Siri wasn't a virgin, no he hasn't been one in a while."

            "Moony, love I wouldn't be talking." The grim teased. "Remember Lynda?"

            "Shut up Sirius." The werewolf growled. "As I recall you remember her too."

            Sirius went as red as Blaise's hair. Blaise loudly cleared his throat.

            "Right," said Remus abruptly. "Oh, um….So Sirius lay in Voldemort's arms. And Harry, smartass stupid little Harry. Swaggered over to him, and laid a hand on The Dark Lord's arm. And I knew what he was saying. I screamed for him to stop. Even sirius wasn't worth what Harry was giving. Next thing I knew Harry was wrapped in Voldemort's arms kissing him. Nearly threw up. But Sirius was on the floor, I was frozen. Harry gave me a sorrowful smile and then he was gone."

            "Jesus. Didn't think Harry would resort to prostution." Said Blaise, stunned. Sirius very nearly ripped off his head, but Moony held him back.

            "But back to the issue at hand. We all know Voldemort loves Harry," Hermonie started, ignoring a gasp or two. "Harry wouldn't want Voldemort to kill anyone else. Why did he let him?"

            "Maybe Harry didn't know." Said Draco's soft voice form the door way. Behind him floated mugs of hot chocolate. The mugs distributed themselves to every person in the room. the room was silent, save for the a few loud sips.

Draco looked at the floor, tears forming in his eyes, Hermonie starred out the window at the rain, here own eyes empty, Sirius and Remus were curled together on the arm chair. Remus was pale an haggard, his eyes hollow, almost broken, and Sirius rested his head on his lovers, his eyes were filled with fresh fury and anguish. Blaise shivered. _Harry  what have you done? _

"Tom, what have you done!" yelled Harry. The Dark Lord stood on the other side of the room. "You promised me!"

"Harry, I promised nothing!" Tom spat. "I simply said I'd try!"

Harry starred at the floor a moment in an attempt to compose himself. His long curls obscured his face, "Liar."

Tom was in his face in an instant. A hard slap sent Harry flying, the boy who lived slapped back. Tom as startled, in a good way. _He has my temper. _Tom hit Harry, Harry hit back. In minutes they were rolling on the floor attacking each other. Tom was thrilled, and Harry knew it, it made him even angrier. Finally Tom had Harry pinned to the floor.

"Get of me, now!" Harry hissed. He slapped Tom. The Dark Lord pinned Harry's arms down with his own, his face inches away from  Harry's.

"You are not in control here." Tom accented every word, and even added a touch of humor to the words. Harry thrashed again, but Tom overpowered him. "If I let you go what will you do?"

"Kill you."

Tom laughed. "That's why I love you, that anger, that Fury! So like my own." Laughed the raven haired lord. Harry buck violently under him. "Look Harry, I love you."

_I love you Tom, more then you could ever love me, I need you. Please just come a little closer. _Harry's mind screamed.

"I didn't order the attack on The Zabini family."

"Then who did?" Spat Harry. _No wait I'm sorry! Please Tom don't be angry with me. Hold me! _

Tom sighed and got off him. Harry lay still a Tom spoke. "The Death Eaters are restless, their life is about the relentless prusiut of death, they love to kill. I can't control them." Harry was up in a flash, so ready to kill Tom. But the Dark Lord expected it, being taller, older, and heavier he turned around and embraced Harry. The boy who lived attempts at freedom were useless.

"You control them! You always did, you have them on a  three foot leash, if they go an inch out of bounds you punish them mercilessly. Don't mistake me for a fool Tom! I'm not a child anymore." Harry yelled. _Yes Tom, hold me. I can't hurt you, I could never hurt you. I can't live without you! _ 

Tom paid no attention to Harry's  only his eyes. He read Harry like a book. The man had known now was the perfect time to hug Harry. "Trust me," he whispered seductively in Harry's ear. "I would never hurt you, I would never willingly cause you the pain you feel now. The guilt."

"Yes, Tom please, don't stop talking." Moaned Harry.

Tom grinned evilly. "I'll talk to them. There will be no more death, for you sake Harry. My beautiful Harry. I wanted you since you were in your third year. Pettigrew described you to me. How you looked like your father, but you aren't him. Your smarter, more of a slytherin then he could ever be. He wouldn't have given in to me. he would have let Black die, let them all die, but now because of you, they can live."

Harry was angry at the insult to his father, but the feeling of Tom's low husky voice in his ear, and his arms holding Harry up, he felt nothing but Tom. _My love, my life, my addiction. _Harry kissed Tom passionately.

"Promise me something?" asked Harry, drawing closer to Tom.

"Anything," the voice whispered in his ear.

"No more death."

"Of course." But Tom's tone was anything but sincere, and Harry knew it. _One more moment in your arms Tom, then I'll be angry with you. Jesus Christ I can't let go of you. _

"Your lying, Tom." Harry whispered in the same low tone right in Tom's ear. In fury Tom threw Harry onto the bed. Harry lay still on the bed for a moment as Tom walked quickly to the otherside of the room. Harry dashed over to the door, but he was to late. In the hall Tom slammed the door shut and locked then with a little golden key. He stormed don the hall, leaving Harry locked in he bed room.

"DAMN YOU TOM COME BACK HERE! OPEN THE DAMN DOOR! TOM!" Harry howled. He picked up the first thing he saw and threw it. The vase smashed against the wall. "Open it!" screamed Harry. He kicked the little table, smashed the lamp, and finally threw himself on the bed sobbing. "Tom! Tom? Please come back, don't leave me! Tom!" he ripped the lovely pillows to shreds. "Sirius I'm sorry, please forgive me. I shouldn't have believe that dream. I'm horrible, everyone wishes I was never born." Again Harry ripped up the pillows, he tore at his own hair screaming, and finally he fell to the bed, exhausted. "Draco? Please please please don't miss me, don't care for me, hate me with the passion you used to. I don't deserve your friendship. Please let me out…."

After what seemed like hours the rage rekindled in Harry. He bashed against the door frantically. The raven haired boy pounded on the hard, golden wood. He sank against the door crying. His roughly wiped the tears away with the pal of his hand. "Alohamora," he whispered. "Alohamora! Alohamora Alohamora Alohamora!" Finally he screamed "ALOHAMORA!". The doors flew open and Harry ran out sobbing. He ran through the halls and found his way out into the sunlight courtyard again. He threw himself against the old stone pillar and hugged his knees to his chest.

            Tom returned to the room with  tray of steaming hot food. He noticed the door was open, the tray smashed into the rooms far wall, "DAMN IT! WHERE ARE YOU!" In seconds Death eaters gathered around him. "I want him found now! And brought to me, if he's more then knocked out you'll wish you had never been born!" the deathe eaters stood still. "You heard me, FIND HIM!" They split in different directions instantly and searched.

            "Damn you, Harry, this would be much easier if I didn't actually love you." Tom growled, and set off on his own search for his lover. He had growing suspicions that Harry had retreated to the sun. "AND I WANT THOSE DOOR MAGICALLY SEALED!" death eaters hopped to it. "I will find you Harry, and damn it. I'll make you forget you were ever mad at me."


	3. healing interrupted

Lo26: Very good thank u, I'm glad u liked it.  As first review u get a cookie gives cookie.

Pris: glad u like it,, here's chapter 3

A/N: this story will be Harry/Draco later on, also major Dumbledore bashing, as I can't stand him.

            Bright sun light washed over the sobbing figure of Harry Potter, the boy who lived. His knees were pulled tight to his chest and his arms held them there. _Tom, Tom, Tom, please find me. I know you will. I know you'll be angry, I wish you'd hit me again. Nobody dares to even touch me, but you. I crave you touch, I need it now! _

            Someone picked up the sobbing Harry and carried him like a baby back inside. Harry curled into the man's hard, yet comforting chest and prayed it would be over soon. He needed to touch somebody, to be close. No one had ever been as close to him as Tom, physically that is. And it was that physical touch he needed. 

            The man laid him down on the big soft bed, all the cushions restored and all of the things Harry had broken were back in order. "Tom?"

            "Yes." The man leaned his back against the head rest and took Harry into his arms. "Darling you shouldn't have run away, you can trust me. Don't be afraid of me, like you were of those…others."

            Harry snuggled closer to Tom. "I wasn't afraid." Tom gave him a sarcastic look, Harry smiled. "Maybe I was, I'd never been touched, not like sexually, but just, hugged. Loved, comforted. Everyone was scared. I was the golden boy, the golden student, the golden virgin. Nobody could touch me. Even Sirius was scared to. All my life I dreamed of having someone who would always hold me, whenever I needed it." Harry scooted closer to Tom's face and planted a kiss on his soft pale lips.

            "Oh Harry," Tom whispered snuggling his face in the boy's ebony locks. "You are the type of person who can't live without touch, who needs love. I want to find the real you, I know you're there. I'm going to save you, form that person Dumbledore made you."

            Harry nearly cried again. "I wish I was in Slytherin. I wish I had never gone against the sorting hat, I'm not all that brave, am I?"

            "No Mon, Amor, you are brave, but not in the way of a lion. They Slytherin's always helped me, they touch, they aren't scarred of hugging, or cuddling, or clinging. Those Gryffindor scum think they're above asking for help, or touch or love."

            Harry laughed. "You're right. Much as I hate to say it.." tom have  him a teasing slap on the shoulder. "Your world view is a little disturbed, and maybe even ignorant, but on something's your views are impeccable."

            "So true Harry, so true."

            "I love being with you, love being around you, love everything about you. Or maybe it isn't you, maybe it's all you've done for me, how well you know me and understand me, I love you."

            Tom wasn't at all insulted. "Perhaps we're not soul mates, as many would say, but we are lovers, and I have helped you, maybe that's why you love me. But it doesn't matter, let's just enjoy the time we have, shall we?"

            "Yes," Harry said mischeviously, "shall we eat or screw?"

            Tom laughed. "I'm starved."

12 Grimmuald Place

            The entire house was readjusting for school. It was August 15th and the household was going to stay at the Leaky Cauldron until school started, it was better that they were in the house as little as possible. They were leaving that night. Everyone was packing, and slowly starting to come into better spirits, Sirius and Remus were more flirty and joked with each other. Draco smiled more, Hermonie had gotten strangely close to Blaise.

            "Are we all ready?" Sirius asked. They were lined up in the downstairs parlor, everyone was quiet so they didn't wake up Mrs. Black.

            "Yes," Draco said, his voice was becoming more and more the deep, almost laughing tone it used to be. "But can we please leave soon? I really want to find Pansy and Milly."

            "Their both total sluts." Hermione said disagreeably.

            "Monie!" Balise growled. "Pansy isn't a slut, that's just for show, neither is Milly, she's not as much a bitch as she used to be, besides she was jealous of you."

            "Why?" asked a shocked Hermione.

            Blaise shrugged. "You were prettier then her when you were younger, she's a bit of a late bloomer.." Draco laughed and slapped Blaise.

            "Blaise! She's very shy about that!"

            "I trust Monie, don't you?"

            "Of course!"

            "Great let's go!" Remus cut in. The conversation ended pointedly. All of them crowded around the fireplace, trunks in hand.  Sirius sprinkled the flow powder in fire place and transformed into snuffles. Remus went into the fire first, followed by Draco and Sirius, then Hermonie, and then Blaise.   
            Blaise and Draco were sharing a room, Hermione's room connected to theirs, as she didn't want to be completely alone. Remus and Sirius had their own room as well. They were going to be joined by Bill Weasly soon. He was the only Weasly who was still friends with Sirius, Remus, and Harry. The Weasly's weren't to keen on Harry after he continuously got their children in danger.

            Blasie, Draco, and Hermonie were going out to Diagon Alley. Sirius and Remus were doing….things. Hermonie had changed into a pleated black skirt and a white button down shirt that was unbuttoned to expose a red camisole. Her wild hair was tucked behind her ear with a big red flower pin. Blaise was in a loose pair of black jeans and a looshish red t-shirt and a baseball hat. Draco was in jeans as well, but on top he was in a grey sweater that was cut so it exposed the top of his left shoulder and his collar bone.

            "Why are we going dressed as muggles?" Draco asked sullenly.

            "Because it's fun to stand out!" said Monie happily. "Now where shall we go first? I know the book store!" She dragged the complaining Draco, and very happy Blaise into the book store. Despite himself Draco actually found a very interesting looking book called 'Interview with a Vampire'. He started to read it and realized why Monie loved books. He piled as many books form the series in his arms and stumbled over to the counter to pay. Draco, now holding his books in a bag, found Monie and Blaise  outside.

            "Draco!" exclaimed Hermonie, "You actually bought books!"

            "Yes!" the blonde declared proudly. "Muggle books!" Monie hugged him, then kissed Blaise so he wouldn't be jealous. "Are you two… An item?"

            Both blushed. "Not really…" Blaise shrugged. "We're still working it out…"

            "aw…My friends have benefits!" Monie slapped him as did Blaise. Draco ran for it. They chased the blonde trying to slap him, when Draco ran right into someone. "Oh, sorry!"

            "You should be." The man happened to be Cornelius Fudge, the minister of Magic. "Mr. malfoy."

            Draco's mirth vanished. He drew himself to his full height and his blue eyes when ice cold again. "Just Draco please. I'm no longer a Malfoy."

            The minister looked shocked. "You've been disowned?"

            Draco scowled. "I disowned myself. I don't want to have anything to do with Lucious Malfoy, do hope you find some proof that he's a death eater, good day minister." With that Draco walked back into the crowd and found Hermonie and Blaise hiding inside a store. The blonde laughed and suggested they get some ice cream. Both agreed.

            "Draco this was a great idea! Now we don't need lunch!" Blaise laughed as he ate his very, very large banana split. Hermonie was buried in her book. Draco was looking out into the crowd and saw two very familiar faces.

            "Blaise it's Pansey and Milly!"

            "MILLY! PANSEY! COME AND JOIN US!" bellowed Blaise.

            Draco fingered his ear. "I didn't tell you to deafen me, fool!"

            "Draco!" Pansey shrieked. She gave him a huge hug, "Blaise!" Milly did as well.

            "Granger?" Milly asked.

            "Hermione." Blaise corrected.

            "We're on speaking terms with a Gryffindor?" Pansy said with disgust. Hermione glared at Pansy.

            "Yes we are. She saved my life after my father cast me out. She's not as bad as all those other Gryffindorks." Said Draco, Hermonie gave a small laugh.

            "In that case," Milly said. She jumped over and hugged Hermione. "Thank you so much for taking care of Draco! he's an idiot, really, the only thing he could've done on his own was be a whore or a stripper!"

            Draco looked like he was considering the idea when Pansey and Hermione slapped him. "Ouch! I'm just kidding!"

            Hermonie quickly found that Pansy and Milly were quiet agreeable, and was talking openly to them now.

            "Wait a minute," Pansy, "Where's Potter?"

            Hermonie drew in a sharp breath, Blaise almost threw up, and Draco actually got up and left the table.

            "Did I say something wrong?" Pansy asked, her eyes shining with concern.

            "No." Hermione half-whispered. "It's….difficult to explain, I promise I will, but its…..We'll explain later."

            Pansy didn't like the answer, but she settled with it because she didn't want to hurt her and Monie's tender friendship.

            "Hey look!" said Monie, "It's Seamus and Dean, do you mind if I go talk to them?"

            "No, but we'll come to." Draco said coming up behind her and hugging her.

            "Draco?" Hermione asked.

            "It's a slytherin thing, we hug like this all the time, even if we're not together. We need to touch and be loved, Monie, Gryffindor's don't. And since you'll be spending so much time with us you should be a bit more Slytherin, we're already getting more and more like a Gryffindor." The blonde explained. Hermione nodded, she wasn't totally comfortable, but she accepted.

            "Shouldn't I talk to them alone? I mean they don't like Slytherins." Said Monie.

            Milly rolled her eyes. "They'd better get used to us, cause we'll be hanging out a lot with you this year."

            Monie laughed. "Come on clingy," she said to Draco, who laughed. "Dean Seamus!"

            The two boys waved at her, then noticed the Slytherins and jumped to their feet.

            "Hermione you realize there's a  bunch of Slytherin's behind you!" Dean growled.

            "Yes I do. Their my friends."

            "Your joking." Said Seamus, shocked.

            "No."

            "Are you with Malfoy?! He's hugging you!"

            Hermione sighed. "His name's Draco, he's not a Malfoy anymore. He's ready to turn over a new leaf and Clingy wants to say something to you both."

            Draco shot her a glare. "I'd like to apologize for being a bitch to you the past few years. I have been a prat and a stuck up bastard." Said the blonde, not moving form his position on Hermione. Seamus and Dean were startled. "Really I'm serious no need to gawk."

            "Um…Are you guys…Friends?" Dean asked oddly.

            "Yeah," Milly said softly, "we'd really appreciate it if you would be willing to get to know us before you judge us just because we're Slytherins, I assure none of us are with Voldemort."

            "Well, lets sit down shall, we?" Seamus asked, turning on his charm, "So Milly, what kind of music do you like?"

            While Milly and Seamus flirted Pansy got more acquainted with Monie. Draco actually started to read his book, and Blaise was talking to Dean. To Monie, Draco, and Blaise's enjoyment Seamus and Dean didn't ask about Harry.

            Everything was going perfect, Sirius and Remus were happily…doing things together…Blaise and Monie were together officially, and best of all Draco wasn't having nightmares anymore. He dreamt of Harry, very often, nightly almost, but they were good dreams. They were healing. None of them were feeling like they were forgetting about Harry by healing, it was what he wanted.

            It was perfect, until the rat came.

            "Tom?"

            "Yes my love?" he asked, snuggling into Harry.

            "You said you would do anything for me, because of….Blaise's family." Said Harry.

            "Yes my dove," Tom said mischievously, "I suppose I do,"

            Harry looked nervous for a moment, but then began. "You know how much Sirius means to me. And you know he is still…considered guilty. Pettigrew is an incompetent fool, he got three men killed in Albania,"

            "How did you know that!?" Tom exclaimed.

            "I over heard you talking to the Death Eaters, send Pettigrew away, give him to Remus. Please?"

            "So Sirius could be proven innocent…" said Tom, lost in thought. "I suppose, I do know how much you love Sirius."

            "I never said I loved him!" Harry said.

            "I can tell by the way you act. Harry you love many people, there's nothing wrong with it. Many people are like that, don't try and hide it from me, I am not a jealous lover, never have been, never will be. Love whom you will, hate, even screw. But you will always love me."

            Harry sighed, he curled into that hard chest. "You know me to well."

            "I simply know myself. Harry I'll give up Pettigrew if it'll make you happy. You've been so much…more distant after…the incident. I hate seeing you distant. If it were anyone else I would kill them, I do have a reputation you know."

            Harry laughed. "I know Tom, I know. Do you mean it? You'll really help Sirius?"

            "No, I'll help myself by helping you."

            Harry just nodded. They didn't lie, it was a rule between them. "Thank you anyway, will he be delivered in a jar, with no air, after three rounds of Crucio! And I demand you to use the scary voice with him!"

            Tom laughed, his deep rich laugh. "I love it when you're so innocently sadistic, of course, whatever you say."

            Harry nearly cried and flung himself around Tom's neck. Tom laughed, Harry cried with joy, Sirius was going to be free!

The Leaky Cauldron

            "Sirius there's a package!" Remus shouted to his lover in the shower.

            "From who?"

            "Doesn't say!"

            "I'll be out in a minute!" Sirius yelled. He emerged form the bathroom a few minutes later, clad in a black bathrobe. "let me open it!" Remus laughed and let the ex-convict unwrap the package like a gleeful child. Then he gasped. "Remus?"

            Remus looked at the package, a single note was tied around a wooden crate. The not was signed Harry James Potter. "HERMIONE, DRACO, BLAISE!" The three teens were assembled in their room in seconds. Hermione saw the note and ran into Blaise crying, Blaise actually passed her to Draco and vomited violently. Draco was shaking.

            "Jesus Christ, Sirius for god's sakes read it!" Remus whispered, he hugged Draco to try and stop the boy's shaking, but it didn't work.

            "_Dear Sirius, Remus, Blaise, Hermione, and Draco. _

_Yes it is Harry, I'm not dead, dismembered or…otherwise. I'm perfectly fine. I haven't been harmed in anyway, I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life. I dearly hope you all are recovering from my leaving, and I pray the world doesn't know about it. Tom treats me wonderfully, more then wonderfully. It's like finally being home, happy, loved. We had a great party for me. In the box is…well bluntly Peter Pettigrew. He's deeply sedated, tortured and disturbed (don't worry Siri I made sure he was very well tortured..evil grin_" Sirius read, he was in tears, when he read the last bit he smiled. "I hope you hit that bastard for me! I knew you were a sadistic little kid." He continued to read. _I even hit him once for you Siri! (well actually a lot). And of course Remmie I made sure he was verbally abused by Tom and I gave him a Crucio or two for you. _

            The werewolf laughed. Normally the thought of Harry performing an unforgivable was…disgusting and evil, but in Pettigrew's case, it was not only hilarious, but very fulfilling.

            Sirius continued. "_But back to business. Blaise, if you're with  them I'm so sorry about you family. I don't know what happened to your sister, but I'll try to find out, and help her if I can. I hope you and Monie are together (finally) you latterly fancied the pants of her! Monie, I miss you so much. I hope you're doing alright, silly to say really. Make sure Draco does his reading! Jesus I'm trying not to cry. I hope I can see you again at Peter's trail, am working on Tom now. _

_And Draco…please don't worry about me, don't feel guilty. I know you do! Don't it was my decision. You keep doing your reading, I hope the Slytherin's are still talking to you even after your dad disowned you. Don't worry he's not very happy here. Tom's mad at him for getting rid of You, Tom thought you were dead sexy…lol. Don't know how anyone couldn't it is you..lol. _

_Anyway, how to use the rat. Remus call up the ministry tell them you found Peter Pettigrew and that Sirius is innocent. Bring both Sirius, human form, decently dressed, and Peter, if he gives you grief as a human…tell him Tom is coming. That'll freak him out! Have fun with it guys. I miss you all dearly. And I love all of you. If I don't see you all at the trail, then I doubt I ever will. I'll write as often as I can. _

_With my best wishes, dearest apologies, and deepest love,_

- _Harry James Potter" _

Draco broke down crying. Hermione pulled him into to Blaise and herself. Remus hugged Sirius tightly, Sirius cried. With trembling fingers the werewolf opened the crate and found inside was a little jar and inside was a little rat. Remus steadied himself quickly, to quickly. He went to call the ministry and Hogwarts. Sirius took Draco into his arms and soothed the sobbing teenager. Hermione went to take a shower. Blaise was lying on the bed, starring at the calling. 

"If we don't see him at the trail…" Draco whispered thought his sobs, he trailed off. "We'll never see him again. Never! Sirius you won't let it happen! Please, please make Harry come!" Wracking sobs shook Draco's slender figure. He shivered violently. Sirius tucked him under the covers of his own bed, Blaise was still unmoving on Remus' bed. "Never see him again. Never hear his laugh, never tease him…" Draco whispered. Sirius was starting to cry again. He started to yell violently at the rat. Draco slept. Blaise lay on the bed crying. Hermione joined him dressed in pajama's.

When Remus returned, nearly three hours later a date had been set for Sirius' trial. Sirius went into hysterics, finally, after Draco, Blaise, and Hermione were asleep in Remus' bed. Remus did his best to comfort Sirius.

"It's all my fault!" Siri moaned, his voice choked form sobs. "It's my fault Peter's in a jar and that James and Lily are dead, that Harry's got no parents, that your step dad hit you, that everything's fucked up!"

"No it's not!" Remus snapped, gathering the man in his arms. "Shush it's not your fault. Peter practically begged to be in that damn jar! You could never have guessed  he would betray us, James and Lily sure as Hell don't blame you! Harry doesn't have parents, but he has us still! And it's not your fault that that bastard was a crazy, sadistic sex-obsessed, blood thirsty, abusive maniac! And a lot in the fucking world fucked up! None of it is your fault!"

Sirius cried harder, "Fine, you win that, but it is my fault that Harry went with Volemort!" Remus was deathly silent, he struggled to keep his emotions in check. _The last thing anyone needs is for you to break down as well! Stay strong, you can cry later! _The werewolf critically while he made shushing noises to Sirius. He kissed his lovers head and murmured soothing words.

"It's not your fault, I would have given my life for you, in a second I would have jumped for you. No one asked Harry to offer himself. None of us even dreamed he would have the balls to do that. In a twisted way Harry was right, now not only he's safer, but so are we. It's not a good way to be safer, but it certainly is a very smart and insightful of him, but so…un-Harry. Sirius somehow I don't think we even know Harry! The Harry we knew would never have dreamed of even speaking a civil word to Voldemort, let alone kiss him!"

"Oh Remmie don't you dare bring that up!" Sirius howled. "Don't you dare! We've got enough on our minds right now! Don't torture yourself to try to see every view of the damn situation! I just want him to be happy! I just want you to be happy! I just want everything to be alright again! Why cant everything be happy?!"

"Because….that's just how it is. Someday we'll live happily ever after, I promise, but…It could be a while Siri. But someday, we'll get our own fairy tale ending." Said Remus. Sirius cried softly still, eventually he slipped into sleep, Remus joined him. They'd deal with Peter, and Fudge, and Dumbledore, and Harry in the morning, as of now he only wanted to have Sirius in his arms. 

A/N: whatcha think? Review and tell me! I know having Peter delivered to them seems a little fairy taleish, but I promise dealing with Fudge won't be! wink Ok here's a little teaser for the next chapter.

            "Tom I have to go!" Harry screamed. "I have to go as another witness that Sirius is innocent! You damn well know he is!"

            "Yes I know he is! I arranged this so he'd be in Azkaban forever!" his lover screamed back at him.

            "Well fuck you for it! Never counted on me did you! Fuck you!" Harry spat. "I can't believe you! Not jealous my fuckin' ass!"

            Tom lost his composure completely. "How dare you accuse me of being jealous! I've bent over backwards for you and what do you do? You fuckin' just keep pushin' it! don't you?! I sent them the rat in a box! If they can't prove him innocent then they're fools!"

            "They are the only people how have ever givin' a shit about me! I'm alive because of them! Other people only care because I'm the golden boy! I'm going to fuckin' save them from you!" Shouted Harry, he was almost crying.

            "You could never defeat me! not in the past and not ever! You love me, you idiot! The day you kill me is the day you die!" Tom screamed.

            "You don't know that!"

            "Yes I do, Harry! You are me! you are me! there is nothing about you that I could not have learned to have. I could have been good, kind, polite! I chose to be this way! Now you fuckin' chose! Are you this me or another me! You are me!"

well I hope your all salivating, that all for now folks!        


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